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Valentines Day is in a couple of days, which can only mean two things: a lot of love-sick couples or a lot of heartbroken singles! It is the one day of the year where all you need is L.O.V.E (and gifts, and flowers, and expensive dinners :D)

So in the spirit of Valentines Day, (kind of), I have one question- when it comes to relationships, how much does love really matter to people? Obviously its important, if not the most important thing a steady relationship needs and everybody loves to be loved. But let's be real here. I think in this day and age people are much fussier about relationships and what they should/shouldn't be, than what Valentines Day would have us believe!

So I want to know, how does love measure up when it comes to other things in life.

(Disclaimer: I am in no way a relationship expert, I don't have much of a clue lol. I am just being curious and sharing my own opinions.)

Love vs Money 

This is a risky one. Talking about money in relationships usually quite a sensitive topic. If you earn a lot, there is the worry that the person only loves you for your money. If you don't earn a lot money there is the worry that the person will look down on you. After all, most songs these days talk about "I got money for the two of us", "You can have whatever you like" "I'll buy you this, I'll buy you that". Nobody is singing about "My bills are overdue, but baby I love you, don't earn a lot of money, don't ask for nothin' from me"- no no no that won't do. The culture today has got men wanting to impress ladies with money, and ladies wanting to be looked after, or in some cases wanting to upgrade their men (blame Beyonce). But even this is a bit controversial, as our African mothers will tell us that men don't want a woman that earns more than them or doesn't 'need' them financially because its intimidating to them.

So now lets say you're in love with someone that just ticks all the right boxes, but they earn less than you or are not very responsible with money, how much would it matter to you? Would you let it go for love and decide to handle the finances? Let's now say that later on they get a get a huge pay rise and start earning a lot more, but the money goes to their head and they change for the worse...could your love handle it? No right or wrong answers!

Winning the lottery  WOW YOU HEAR ABOUT IT THEN YA SEE IT....

Love vs Lust

This one is even riskier than the money talk!

A co-worker of mine once told me that it is important to for her to know what a man is like in bed before she can marry him. So I thought to myself, 'if you love everything about him, but you later find out that there aren't any fireworks at night, you would eventually let him go?'. She argued that intimacy is an important part of marriage so it's important to know these things. Fair enough. But what if later on in the marriage, your partner develops a disability for example (God forbid) that might make things a little less you really just make a decision to leave or stay? What if your culture or religion has you waiting until marriage before you do anything physical...and then you finally discover that it was all a bit of an anticlimax, not great?! Good luck with that awkward conversation! But then I guess you would be comfortable enough with each other to be honest about your feelings and help them to understand where you're coming from. If they don't understand, tell them to Google it (kidding).
Photo Series: “African Love” ♥   Photographs by Seydou Keita, Malick Sidibe and Jean Depara ♥
by Keita, Sidibe, Depara

I can't talk about love vs lust without at least mentioning infidelity- what if one of you cheats?
People define cheating in different ways but surely at the end of the day the result is still the same: broken trust, broken heart, broken relationship. Could you stay in love with a cheater?  A passage in the Bible says that 'love covers a multitude of sin' (1 Peter 4:8) but I think it must be hard to summon up enough love to cover a sin like this. You have to love and value yourself before you can do the same for others. You need to know your worth and your other half should know it too. Some people do forgive and move on, and some like Will and Jada Smith come to a 'you're-allowed-to-cheat' agreement. I hope none of you ever find yourself in this situation in the first place.

Love vs Accepting-them-for-who-they-really-are-flaws-and-all 

When I was in primary school I once got a Valentines Day card from the nice boy in my class that sometimes liked to eat the glue. Now in this situation does one simply accept the boy for who he is and the things he likes to do? Or is it appropriate to encourage him not to eat glue because you don't really like it and also it might poison him?

Most people have a certain 'type' that they go for, but as we all know, nobody is perfect and you always get your exact specifications. It may turn out that your 'type' is not right for you and so you keep having failed relationships. So what do you do? Change your 'type' maybe? It's not a bad thing to know what you want but it doesn't hurt to be open minded. Somebody needs to love the shorter people too! Lol and the taller ones, the fatter ones, the thinner ones, the quiet ones, the geekier ones, the vain ones, the shy ones, and of course the ones that eat glue! ;P 

In any relationship I think you can learn something from the other person and something about yourself too. The person that you thought wasn't your type might do or say things that you never knew you were interested in, or might highlight your own good or bad traits that you were previously unaware of. Does your love matter enough to accept different points of view? How about goals and ambitions that don't match your own? Don't forget a mid-life crisis that might develop down the line, when they suddenly come home with blue hair just to feel young again!   
Hmmm quite a lot to think about there. Maybe I'm just taking Valentines Day too seriously haha, what do you think? Whatever you are doing on Friday, Valentines Day or not, I wish you a lovely day. Thanks for reading, God bless xx

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